I picked this major because I thought I'd learn to use a broad variety of mediums and improve upon my artistic skills---to learn how to draw, basically.  I later found that we were expected to be knowledgeable in the arts beforehand.

I am frustrated.  I cannot improve with my lack of inspiration that has been holding me back in the field of design for years now.  It's just too hard for me to think of interesting ideas and much harder to put them down on paper.

My AP Studio Art 2-D teacher is a harsh grader; I've been receiving 65's and 75's on my pieces and I am infuriated with myself.  Of course, it would infuriate anyone if they had worked long and hard on something only to be given a grade that discourages them from trying to improve.  With such a succession of grades; no improvement seen, it just makes one feel as if they are stuck in a never-ending vortex and that they are unable to create anything worthy.  Then theres are these things we should see when evaluating a piece.  I just cannot grasp the understanding of seeing unity, balance, and rhythm in a piece; nor can I articulate what is causing them.

Then there is Graphic Design.  My teacher is computer-illiterate.  It is her first time teaching this course.  I am dreading it already; to having her next year for Web Design as well.  I don't understand her at all!  I don't know what she wants!  But when I do, I feel it is a complete waste of my time to do what she wants.  I also feel as if I've created a negative image of myself...at first acting as a know-it-all.  There was this guy who was just so full of himself that I had to show him up because he was becoming annoying.  Yet now, I've probably taken his place as some know-it-all bitch.  My teacher has realized that I know how to use Photoshop, and she assumes I can maneuver the program to make pieces for her examples.  Just because I know how to use Photoshop, doesn't mean I know how to use it well lady.  Another example why I'm not fond of her: she doesn't make examples to accompany her confusing explanations...she expects the ones who know how to use Photoshop, to make them for her.  As if.

Labels: fail, graphic design, media, studio art 2-d

I fail at Spanish and Chemistry now... my best subjects that are now my worse.  How'd that happen?!  Today I got my Spanish test back and found out I got a 76 which later became an 82 because I had to explain some mishaps (she still wouldn't give me full points though...)  I'm friggin' piss; there's gotta be something wrong with my head or something.

We had a chemistry quiz yesterday...  I got at least 2/10 of the multiple choice wrong.  I misread one of the question and for the other, I chose the correct choice but changed it last minute; don't you just hate when that happens?!  Then I wrote ionic bonds had polarity *facepalm*stupid.  Everyone around me probably got full points---Damn you Mr. 99 :X  This is total BS.

I went to volunteer at the office yesterday.  I had to file.  I really dislike filing; not only because the cabinets are right next to the stinky bathroom, but I just suck at it.  My boss gave me some papers that were paper clipped so I assumed they go together but I later found out, they were stapled by date, not by name.  I couldn't find one of the packets =_=

I got home from the library and watched Chungking Express.  It's a really old modern Chinese film, dated 1994 or 1995.  The storyline was based around two love forlorn cops and the plot revolved around romance as its theme.  I can't say I disliked the movie because I thought the first story was good and the overall movie was unique but it's a bit strange for a love story.  Then again, who wouldn't like a story about a cop who got dumped by his girlfriend, May of 5 years and is still attached, thus, continues to buy his girlfriend's favorite food, pineapples, everyday and only if the can expires May 1st, his birthday.  When he gets 30 cans, right before his birthday, he'll give up on her.  Then there's a woman who goes around in a raincoat, wig, and sunglasses; hires some Indians to help her smuggle drugs only to have them deceive her and runaway.  She goes around with a gun, asking around to find her traitors and even goes as far as to kidnap a shopkeepers daughter (this part was quite funny, the shopkeeper refuses to tell her information and when he goes to the back of the shop, leaving his young daughter on the counter, the woman just carries her away.)  The blackmail is successful and she goes shoot down some Indians.  The others chase her to get revenge for their fallen brethren but she escapes on a train and next thing you know, she's at the bar and the cop, wanting to give up on his ex, is determined to fall in love with the next woman who steps in... which is the drug-dealing lady.  It's funny that this whole thing happens in an interval of 2-3 days.  The other cop story was not as action-packed but was very funny; especially when the cop talks to his soap bar, towel and giant stuffed polar bear (which later becomes a Garfield but he looks through this and says to it "Look at you, when'd you become so dirty?  You used to be white and now you're all yellow.  And look at these scars (the whiskers); did you get into fights?"

Labels: chemistry, fail, movie, office, quiz, spanish, test, volenteer

I went to Parent Teacher Conference today to see my math teacher.  I was to translate for my mom.  We arrived when the doors opened and there was a line outside that spanned half the perimeter of the school...  We eventually got in 10 minutes later.  We arrived at the room and signed in, then sat down and waited.  We waited...  the clocked ticked and an hour passed.  My dear mother was getting highly impatient.  She didn't realize that we signed in and had to wait until our name is called (we had like ten people ahead of us); she wanted to just get it over with when the preceding parent left...like some sort of race to the empty seat between the parents in the room and my mom was the only player.  We got into a small argument resulting in waiting some more.  Later on, at home, she complained about the issue to my grandpa.  She called me an ignorant Chinese-American; she still thought she was right.

The conference was pretty short considering we waited almost 2 hours just to speak with him.  I knew we shouldn't have come.  I wasn't the only one who had to sit through the brutal prolonged period of idleness.  Mabel was there too but she was lucky she had the new Septimus Heap book to read.

The talk was pretty much pointless and brief.  My mom knew I did terrible.  I knew I sucked at honors trigonometry.  The teacher knew I failed the tests pretty bad.  End of discussion.  What's embarrassing though, was that while waiting for the train, my mom said my breath smelt funky when I was translating.  *headdesk*

Labels: fail, honors trig, PTC

After I got my report card, I was pretty much ready to give up for the rest of the day.  It discouraged me further when I found out that I forgot to do Spanish homework during lunch.  Ugh...  I slept really late last night even though I could've slept earlier because I procrastinated; read manga until like 10 and then started doing the outline for European (which took forever and I was still only halfway done) and didn't bother with Spanish.  I guess I was just scared that I might loose my 98 average in Spanish... which is my highest grade and one that I'm proud of achieving.  The dread of thinking I didn't do Chemistry homework either was just excruciating but I was relieved to know that it was actually due on Monday.

Failed math with a 55, as expected.  It pissed me off to see the comment "Needs to go to after school tutoring" when I do go, although not as much as I'd like to since I'm preoccupied with clubs...  My friend had told me that if you go to your teachers for tutor, they take notice and give you extra points; BS.

I despise that fact that my mom found out about the Parent Teacher Conference.  Now I gotta go with her to translate which is a friggin' waste of my time when it's only one teacher.

Labels: fail, grades, homework, manga, procrastination, PTC, report cards

Ahah, if I remember correctly; I had an entry by the same title back in 8th grade for my Stray Dog blog.  Anyhow, coincidentally, both concern my failure in math.

I'll make this short and simple and sour:
I have a math test tomorrow (and one for chemistry but it's multiple choice... which I hope would be easy to pass.)
There is a 99% I will fail the math test.  1% of passing if he was in a good mood and gave simple questions that will make your head click.

Reasons?  Cause and effect, really.
I haven't started homework yet and it's 9:10 → Will finish homework very late → Will not have time to study; studying won't do much anyhow considering how my notes look like illiterate chickens scratched up the paper in an attempt to write.

I believe I got a phone call from the school reporting my class failure.  My mom missed the call and said something about it being from NYC so she assumes its just one of Bloomberg's promotional calls.

Lucky me, wooh!... at least until Wednesday when the report cards come in.  OTL

Edit @ 10:48: I confessed that I failed math to my mom.  She sighed and was disappointed.  She spread it on to the others in the family.  My dad was teasing and probing me, making me feel bad.  My brother complained that everyone else was blaming him that I failed or something about how he needed to take my place?  My grandma was indifferent about it.  My grandpa was upset.  He thought that I won't be able to go to college 'cause I failed math.  I told him I didn't fail any math tests for college.  He became relieved and put on this whole act about how he was crying inside because he was afraid I wouldn't be able to go to college; fingers wiping his non-existent tears and all.  Is he mocking me?  Trying to comfort my sorrowful state?  Haha, he looked funny.

Labels: chemistry, fail, homework, honors trig, test

My grades are atrocious. I can't complain about them enough. I'd had hopes that I at least past the 2nd math test above 60... I was heartbroken to find that I got a 54! WTF. I went over my answers... I had done so many careless mistakes! Like switching x₁ and x₂ in one of the formulas; resulting in a totally wrong answer. Others include switching x and y coordinates when plugging the numbers into the equation and not reading the question carefully enough to write down radius and center of a circle. Then there are those problems that I just totally forgot how to solve despite going to tutor the previous day to go over them... (omg, when I was typing this, I had my test exposed and my grandmother saw it! I'm so fcked.)

I also got a 70 on my Tech final. I thought I'd did alright on that one too so I had my hopes up; everything is fcken shattered. I don't think he taught us a lot of the material or maybe I was just careless again. I really despise my current academic state.

You know, now I guess I know how it feels when some ungrateful person scored pretty damn well but keeps complaining they could've done so much better. I'm one of those conceited ego-centric types but I wish I'd been more considerate to those who scored lower than me and kept my mouth shut. Wow, I'm a competitive bitch.

I'm mediocre when it comes to AP Europe though, although I strive to be better :/ I felt disappointed with my exam grade but expected it, seeing how I didn't know a lot of the material on the test; guess I just didn't study enough.

The Internet is a distraction. I'm currently leeching Internet from an Optimum Online connection; my last resort as it seems I can't set up my own network to connect to. Today I arrived home to find an Optimum Online vehicle parked in front of my neighbors home. As I went into my house, it starting to leave... I think they're on to me; so not only am I procrastinating, loosing my eyesight, but there is the risk that I'm probably gonna be arrested or sued until I'm dirt broke and living on the streets.

Labels: ap euro, fail, grades, honors trig, internet, soph tech, test

No it's not a penis.

It's the PSATs (credits to Molly for the joke.)
I didn't bother studying for it; just didn't have the time due to my procrastination that resulted in finishing homework at 1 yesterday.

The train was really crowded today; I was nearly suffocating. These circumstances seems to prolong this unfortunate ride.

I was almost late for PSATs although there were people who were later than me. What sucked was that we ddin't get our 5 minute break between sessions 3 and 4 cause the teacher is a noob.

I think I did fairly better in reading than math, although I had to rush through them both. I'm quite confident in my grammar skills most of the time after getting 9/10 right in that session on this practice test my teacher gave last week. My vocabulary sucks though I risked getting -1/4 due actually answering the questions anyhow.

I got a math test tomorrow. The last of the marking period. I'm pretty sure that even if I pass with a 100 (which is quite impossible), I'm going to fail the class anyway. Yet I try, I went to tutor today. I think my factoring has improved recently though all the other materials... can't say much about that; especially inequality word problems!

Currently doing English homework. It is going to take a while. I hope I at least have some time to attempt studying for math.

Wtf is a sexton?!

Labels: english, fail, homework, honors trig, PSAT, test

is what my first math test reads. I fail.

Tagged by Joann:

First of all, state 5 interesting facts about the person you awards you

• She is the person who tagged me.
  
• She wears glasses.
  
• Has an obsession with horror after passing the paranoia phase.
  
• I got her into blogging, heheheh.
  
• 
  

Next, state 10 facts about yourself (plus 5 more)

• I fail at math and I'm Asian.
  
• Failure in life is probably my biggest fear.
  
• I like anime, manga, manhwa and yaoi.
  
• I'm a mean person who can get away with being that way.
  
• I avoid horror anything.
• I am a devout believer in the world ending in 2012.
  
• Recently got into the addiction of making kusadamas.
• I like coffee flavor candy and ice cream but dislike coffee.
  
• I dress like an old lady according to *cough*cough*Ronaldthatmofo*cough*cought*
  
• I'm a perfectionist.
  
• I suck at writing.
  
• Got no time to watch anime or drama lately :(
  
• I don't like to procrastinate but I do it anyway.
  
• I try to be social but I guess I'm just faking it.
  
• I think of myself as a very introverted person.
  

ok, 10 persons who receive this award are (with some description)...

1. Alyssa: Some bi-polar person who hurts me.
2. Rebecca: Some exotic, athletic person with many talents.
3. Amy: Some person from my prefect with very straight hair.
4. Courtney: Some person I'm following who never goes on blogger anyway.
5. Shannon: Some person who abandoned blogger for tumblr.

That's basically all blog buds I know in real life :/ The other 5 can be free for all =_=

Labels: fail, honors trig, tag, test

Alyssa wanted me to post but not much has happened except I most likely failed all three tests I had yesterday (global: ugh, phys. ed.: eh?, bio: omg, I'm screwed). I need to catch up on anime I missed out on this whole week (with all the projects and shit that needed to be done). Currently, I have like 5 episodes loaded (with like 20 queueing) and I've only managed to barely finish one since I woke up (which was like four hours ago)... Now I need to shower and go to my cousin's house.

Dear Janie:

I don't really know how to tell you this, but our affair is over. I think I realized it when I quoted Santa as you ate enchilada and I saw you carve your initials into my father. I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand that there is no solution to this. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep the oil stocks as a memory. You should also know that I never openly mocked a new life as a clone .

Go burn,
Connie

Lmao, just kidding :3 I got this off deviantart a while ago and wanted to post it one day. It said I should tag 5 people but only 2 people actually visit so whatever: Alyssa & Janie. Instructions for this is here!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Labels: anime, fail, meme, thanksgiving